I Corinthians 13:5-Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Little children can be easily provoked and easily offended. A mature Christian should not be easily provoked, easily disturbed, or easily offended. A mature Christian woman will take her offenses to the One who really can help her overcome those awful, negative feelings. Maybe a brother or sister in the church has embarrassed you or humiliated you; if that is the case, take it to God. God understands and already knows every feeling that is going on in side of you. You can't hide anything from God, so why not just pour out every emotion you are feeling to Him?
My husband and I are both strong believers in having counselors, but a counselor should be not be a family member or even a friend. A spiritual counselor should be someone who is not a novice as far as the Word of God is concerned. A counselor should have decades of experience as a Christian and should hopefully be someone who has had experience counseling on spiritual matters. When it comes to dealing with being offended by a fellow church member, we should never go to another fellow church member for spiritual counseling--that is tattling and that is gossip!
I Peter 3:10-For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
Jeremiah 9:8-Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.
This is a pretty common story, but it does illustrate the damage that gossip causes:
Though puzzled by this strange request, the young man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance. He quickly cut up the pillow, scattered the feathers, and returned to the house.
“Am I now forgiven?” he asked.
“Just one more thing,” the wise man said. “Go now and gather up all the feathers.”
“But that’s impossible. The wind has already scattered them.”
“Precisely,” he answered. “And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak.”
What a great example of the damage that gossip does! I do not claim to be perfect in this area of controlling my tongue. My flesh is sinful and weak; I often have days in which I start off surrendering my will to God's will, but then become discouraged when I lose control of my tongue. In case you are ever with my and hear me gossip, I want you to know up front--I am a hypocrite, but I am a hypocrite who seeks the Holy Spirit's guidance in my life. Until the day I go to Heaven, I know that I will have to live my life on my knees begging God to live through me!