Bill and Anna Whitehouse: A Long Line of Love

This is Bill and Anna Whitehouse at our wedding in 1983

"Laurie May, I can't wait until that baby is born!" were the words that I used to hear every time I saw my father-in-law just weeks before Jessica's due date (my middle name is Ann, but Laurie May was his nickname for me).  He loved his grand babies, and couldn't wait to hold a new life in his arms.

My father-in-law, Bill Whitehouse, was every bit a man. My mother-in-law says that she has never seen a better looking man than Bill Whitehouse in a pair of blue jeans--and she means it every time she says it! He was a good looking man in a very manly way. He had dark hair and sparkling blue eyes that couldn't possibly go unnoticed. In fact, I was with him a few times when women would comment on how beautiful his eyes were; he would turn all "aw shucks" and just brush off the compliments...those blue eyes only saw one woman, his sweetheart, Anna. 

My husband, his brother, and sisters had the greatest example of what two people are like when they are truly in love. My husband loved waking up early in the morning, hearing the coffee cups clink, and listening to his parents downstairs talking to each other quietly before the rest of the household got up. Knowing his parents enjoyed one another's company and hearing them enjoy conversing with each other laid a wonderful foundation for his security as a child and for our own marriage. All of Bill and Anna's children are great conversationalists. I am thankful for the great example that they gave their children of how a loving couple should communicate.

My mother-in-law has often bragged on how her husband paid attention to her smallest needs and wants. She has often told how she and Bill were watching television and talking about what they would have for dinner. My mother-in-law is an amazing cook, and I'm sure they were both looking forward to the meal later in the day. Anna said to Bill, "I sure wish I had some fordhook lima beans to go with our dinner." She sort of made the comment in passing not really thinking anything of it. A little while later, she heard his pickup truck start up. She wondered where he was going. A short time later Bill came back with a bag of frozen lima beans. Anna's wish was Bill's command, and in return she would do anything for him.

Bill and Anna were openly affectionate with one another.  It's not unusual to see pictures in which she is sitting on his lap, and it wasn't unusual to see him wink at her or to see them hug. I believe that one of the reasons why my husband is such a great husband and dad is because of the affection that he gives me and each of his kids. My husband learned at the feet of his parents how to be an affectionate husband and dad.

I remember when my father-in-law would decide to work on a household project. He was never alone. Anna was always working by his side whether it was remodeling a bathroom or working on the roof or making the back porch screened in. Debi, Keith, Daryl, and Cheryl grew up watching their parents work together and enjoy each other's company while doing so. Through the years, I have been able to watch each of them work alongside their spouse just like their parents did. They were taught by example to support one another in marriage.

April 20th marks 19 years since Bill Whitehouse went to Heaven. He missed seeing Jessica be born by 9 days.  I know he would have loved Jessica's big, brown eyes and blond hair--she would have reminded him of the girl he loved for so many years.  I know he would have been crazy about all the grandkids and now great grandkids that have been born since his passing. I am forever thankful that Bill and Anna Whitehouse had a relationship of love that has been passed down to their kids and now their grandkids.

As I was writing, this song came to mind:

LONG LINE OF LOVE

I bought a beautiful diamond ring
I offered it to the sweetest thing I know, and she said she would take it.
We started making some wedding plans 

She looked at me, and she took my hand and said, "Do you think we can make it?"
I Said,  "My Granddad's still in love with my Grandma."

 I Said, "My Dad still thinks my mom's the sweetest thing he ever saw."

You see I come from a long line of love.
When the times get hard, we don't give up;

 Forever is in my heart and in my blood;

 You see I come from a long line of love.

The years went by and we had a son;
Now he thinks he has found someone for him;

They're planning a wedding.
He called me up on the phone today,
Just to see what I had to say to him
Did I think he was ready?

I said what his grandfather used to say to me;
Its been handed down for ages,

 It runs in our family.

"Son you come from a long line of love;

 When the times get hard, you won't give up.

 Forever is in your heart and in your blood.
Son, You Come From A Long Line of Love;
Yes you Come From A Long Line of Love."

Bill and Anna Whitehouse gave a great thing to their kids and grandkids--a long line of love.

Discussions on Modesty and Femininty

   

     When my daughter Jessica was growing up, we spent hours and hours discussing anything and everything while working in the kitchen together. Maybe that's why she still likes spending time in the kitchen creating delicious baked goods, and maybe that is why we still like having conversations that get down to the knitty gritty topics of life!  So yesterday, when we had to spend many extra hours at West Coast Baptist College in order for my husband and a good friend of his to work on James' car, Jessica and I went to the Great Awakening's Cafe and spent some delicious mom-daughter time talking about everything under the sun. I'm so glad I have a daughter who loves being feminine--and modest.  The fact that Jessica is feminine and modest was no more of an accident than her liking to bake and enjoying conversations with her mom. When she was just a little girl, my husband would take her shopping and let her choose dresses with his help. She always chose the poofiest of the poofy dresses. The test for her was if when she spun around in circles, would the dress "poof" out even more! She loved the frilled socks and shiny, patent leather shoes too. Now to be honest, if I alone had chosen her clothing, I would have chosen clothing that was of a more classic style--less showy, but her dad and I wanted to foster in her the desire to be feminine. As long as daddy liked Jessica's dresses, I was all for whatever they chose. Every year, I believe with no exception, Jessica was a princess for trick or treat, and we had such fun applying make-up on her face and making her hair befitting of a princess. As she got older, I encouraged her to curl her own hair and learn how to style it--if she needed another curling iron of a different size--no problem; if she needed hairspray, mousse, or gel, I made sure she had it. I cut her hair, and as she got older I let her cut mine. We still cut each other's hair. When it came time for her to wear makeup, we spent time studying which colors would be best for her, and I showed her how to apply the makeup properly. As long as daddy liked how Jessica looked, Jessica was happy, and so was I. Now all of this femininity was in moderation. We looked for adorable clothing at local thrift stores; make-up was to be natural and enhance her looks--not cover them up; Payless or Wal-mart would have to be "good enough" for our shoe purchases because that was what was in our budget. Jessica bought a sewing machine one summer with money she earned babysitting; she loves sewing her own skirts and dresses and putting her own stamp of style on her clothing. My husband had "fashion" role models for Jessica to look to when it came to how she should dress--her femininely dressed cousins, Jennifer, Linda, and Lacey and others were young ladies that we would point out to Jessica, "See how she is dressed? That is real beauty!You don't have to show anything to be noticed." My husband, being the great husband he is, always told Jessica, "You can always look to your mom if you want to know how to dress and be pretty."  He scored big on that one!  Being feminine, modest, and pretty was a fun challenge through the years, and I'm so proud that my daughter caught what was being taught. I'm so happy that she is kind, and funny, and smart, and productive, and feminine, and pretty. Much of Jessica's attitude toward being feminine and modest, I owe to her dad. Yesterday while we chatted, nearly whispering, so as not to have our little conversation overheard by those around us, Jessica said, "You know, if dad had thought that it was okay for me to wear bathing suits or jeans, I would have." 
     "I know," I responded,"but your dad has always felt very strongly about how a woman should dress and be appropriate, and he has never shied away from being very blunt about how a man sees things. I really didn't totally understand how men really saw women until I met your dad."
     "Was dad always like that? I mean, blunt?"
     "Oh yes! Even while we were dating, he told me what he liked and didn't like as far as how women dressed, and he told me how women looked from a man's point of view," I answered.
     "That's cool," Jessica stated, and yes, I think it's cool too that I met and married a man who is so honest--even if his honesty is uncomfortable at times.
     When I told my husband that part of my conversation with Jessica, he said, "The only way that a daughter will be modest in this day and age is if a man is married to a woman who is willing to accept her husband's point of view and will back him up, but we live in a time in which in most households the women's point of view rules, and most women won't accept the reality of what is modest and what is immodest." He was talking about that much maligned word "submission." My husband was once again being honest while bragging on me at the same time, and that felt good. 
     Raising kids with real values and convictions is work. We spend and still do spend lots and lots of time really talking to our kids, and they have no problem sharing what they think with us--in fact, it's kind of like a family "sport." We always made time in a fun way to talk to our kids. Saturday mornings were always special. I don't know how it started, but without being scheduled, we would all wander into the living room first thing in the morning and have talks. I cherish those talks, and so does my husband and all four of our kids. The real learning about God, family, character, dating, friendships, and values took place during these "unstructured" talks that my husband and I have known would be vital if we wanted to raise kids that would be strong adults.
    

I found this little gem today in my Bible today:  Psalms 101:2-I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.

This verse reminds me how important behaving rightly in my home is to my family.  My testimony to my husband and kids far outweighs my testimony to any one else on earth.  My family is my number one ministry. I want my kids to remember me as happy, joyful, active, industrious, even-tempered, fun, funny, sensitive to their needs, and spiritual.

Several years ago I had a music tape by a trio called Heirloom. I memorized the words to this song and would often sing it to myself:

Up before dawn and out the door

What in this world are we striving for

We already have much more than our time affords

Struggling up the ladder offers us little reward

If we're heroes to strangers and strangers to our children

We won't stand blameless before the Lord.

He said, "Suffer the little children; for such is the kingdom of Heaven."

Oh, you know He loves the little ones.

 So mothers and fathers, let's follow the Saviour

And cherish the treasures we have in daughters and sons.

I would often recall this song when the kids were little because we had chosen for me not to work so that I could be home, and  we were financially struggling; and now I recall it when I think of the inheritance of the testimony I long to leave my children (they might not get much more! lol). Being a wife and a mom is a one-shot deal. I hate the stereotype of women being grouchy, silent, worried, and/or moody--even though we have all been there. I don't want to leave those images as my legacy to my family. Even when I get in "one of those moods," I need to realize it and ask God to guide me out of it so that I can be what I am supposed to be for my family--a happy mom!

Spying on Your Family Members

"Spying on Your Kids--How Bad is It?" This was the item of discussion recently on a prominent morning news program. My interest was piqued because I have three teenagers. I was concerned that what I was going to hear was going to be a liberal parent's discussion on the privacy issues of teens, but I was very happy that the conversation turned to the word "accountability."  Recently I read a story of man from Oakland, Michigan who is facing 5 years in prison for hacking his wife's email account to confirm his suspicion that she was cheating on him. She was cheating on him, but that fact seems to be beside the point. She apparently is not accountable for infidelity, but he is accountable for his "spying."

"Accountability" is a great word loaded with meaning. The definition of accountability is "being liable or answerable."  Mark 10:6-9 says But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. So many people come to marriage with the idea that they will still be separate in certain areas:  He has his bank account; she has hers.  She has her computer accounts; he has his.  I have even known of some Christian marriages in which she goes on her vacation; he goes on his.  When in a marriage we begin to separate what belongs to him and what belongs to her, we may end up not being accountable to anyone. The same goes for children in the family--children should always be accountable to their parents.

A marriage and a family should not develop secret areas. When we got internet in our home, my husband and I were VERY concerned that the internet was made as safe as possible for the whole family. I found a company from which I downloaded a very conservative filtering system; in fact, if anyone were to try to remove the filter, it could destroy the computer. Everyone in the family understands that.  Our teenagers are not allowed to get on the computer without our permission. My husband and I share all passwords.  What is mine is his, and what is his is mine--at any time.

My husband and I share a bank account. We have a monthly budget. If either of us decides to spend any money outside of the monthly budget, we check with each other first.  When I was teaching at a Christian college my paycheck went into OUR account.  Many women think that their husband's paycheck is both of their paychecks, and her paycheck is her paycheck. When two people get married they become one--the money should become "our" money.  

Our children have known as they were growing up that there is no space and no place in our home that is "off limits" to dad and mom.  They also know that mom is very nosy and will actually check up on them.  We have no hiding places in our home. No phone conversation is so private that dad or mom cannot listen in. There is not a note that cannot be read by dad or mom. We don't live in a house of suspicion because we have never set an atmosphere that allows anyone to develop a secret life. 

Families should not be allowed to develop a practice of compartmentalization. To compartmentalize means to isolate or split off a part of the personality or mind by a lack of communication between the parts.  Communication is of the utmost importance in every family. Mom should communicate to dad as to where she is going and when she can be expected back when she heads out the door and vice versa.  Parents should know who their kids are with, how long they will be gone, and parents should know what their kids are doing while away.  Husbands and wives should be accountable to each other as to who their friends are. If a husband is not comfortable with a friendship his wife has, the wife should respect the feelings of the husband and take appropriate action, and vice versa.  The husband and wife relationship should always be the priority relationship in a marriage. Never should the spouse feel anxiety or feel threatened over other relationships.

If teens are allowed to use social networking, parents should have access to the password; parents should check to see who the friends are, and parents should make sure that they are a one of the "friends" on the site.  All of these stipulations need to be hammered out before social networking is even allowed--that way everyone understands that "spying" is not going on, but "accountability" will definitely be expected by everyone in the home.

All members of the family need to realize that they are accountable to all the other members in the family.  No one should ever be exempt from being accountable. The idea of accountability needs to be taught to the children so that they understand how a family is to communicate to one another in every area of life. We can't pretend as Christians that we are mavericks who will do what we want when we want to do it. None of us live in a bubble. Our actions always have consequences, whether good or bad, and those consequences will always affect those we love.

How do you and your family stay accountable to each other? I would love to hear from you.

My Husband Preached at Lancaster Baptist School

Lancaster Baptist Church in Lancaster, California

We had a great day yesterday! My husband spoke in the junior high and high school chapel for Lancaster Baptist School. At the end of the message, many decisions were made, and it was so sweet to see young men and women on their knees making decisions. I am so blessed to have a godly husband who so strongly desires to see young people live lives of no regrets.

One reason why I was looking forward to coming with my husband for this speaking engagement was that I really wanted to see the principal. For most of my life I tried to steer clear of principals, but this was a different case. The principal of Lancaster Baptist Schools was my youth pastor when I was 15 years old! At that time, my dad was a pastor in Reno, Nevada. Pastor Rick, as the youth called him back then, made a decision that changed my life--he decided to take a van load of girls to Youth Conference in Hammond, Indiana. At that conference in 1979, I made many decisions that changed my life.

I made a decision to tell others about Christ.

I also made a decision to be pure until my wedding day. 

I made the decision to attend Hyles-Anderson College. 

Those were some awesome, powerful decisions! 

At Hyles-Anderson College I met my amazing husband. When I got to the conference that hot August week, I took many pictures. 3 years later when Daryl and I decided to have a date in which we brought our photo albums, he was shocked to see pictures that I had taken because he was in a couple of them! 

While we were dating at Hyles-Anderson

If not for that trip in the summer of '79, I wouldn't have the husband I have, the children I have, nor the life I have led. 

Valentine Banquet 2011 in Mesa, Arizona

I am a very blessed woman. Partly due to the decision of a young youth pastor and his wife, who were expecting their first child, making the decision to haul a bunch of goofy girls across the United States for a conference for teens--a conference that changed my life!

P.S.-If this was my husband's blog, this definitely would not be a post script--it would be the story! After we finished in Lancaster, we headed over to Reagan's Library. Michael Reagan, who is the adopted son of Ronald Reagan and actress Jane Wyman (his first wife), was doing a book signing.  My husband got to meet him and shake his hand, and we both went through the line and got the book signed--plus we had our picture taken with him. It really was a great day!

How to Prepare a Family For Sunday Morning

     Sunday morning for the average Christian family on their way to church is a time of peaceful tranquility....riiiight! Really I can only vouch for my family; sometimes, far too often, Sunday morning can be a chaotic time of searching for that one matching sock, waiting in line for the bathroom, and changing clothes a few times trying to find just the right thing to wear that doesn't need to be ironed! We have a busy family that likes to be on the go, so even Saturday preparation time can be limited.  Through the years I have discovered that just a few pre-Sunday preparations will save endless minutes and cut back on needless frustration especially when it is time to head to church in a worshipful spirit!

  1. Find tights, nylons, and matching socks so that there won't need to be a big hunt on Sunday morning.
  2. Do your best to hang up church clothing, especially men's and boy's shirts, right after they come out of the drier.  If they still need to be ironed, iron them throughout the week and hang them up.
  3. Have the kids get out their shoes and place them in an area where it will be easy just to put them on on Sunday morning before they head out the door. There is nothing worse than hearing, "MOM, I can't find my shoe(s)!"
  4. Clean up the dishes on Saturday night--you will be soooo glad you did come Sunday morning.
  5. Make sure kids know where belts, ties, and other church paraphernalia is.
  6. Have kids get Bibles out and place by shoes.
  7. I always loved the idea of a big Sunday dinner, but in reality it hasn't always been possible, and that's okay! Just make sure you have something planned even if it's Campbell's soup and grilled cheese.
  8. Have an idea of what you are going to wear and stick with it!
  9. I'm a big fan of cereal on a Sunday morning--it's quick and easy, and there is not much of a mess. Even toast and peanut butter is good, and when served on a paper napkin there is even less mess than cereal. 
 10. Take a few minutes to care for your husbands needs. Does have clean t-shirts in the drawer? Does he have a shirt ironed? 

It is very important to guard the spirit of the whole family on Sunday morning. There is nothing that Satan would like better than to have everyone in a grumpy, aggravated, less than spiritual mood. Take just a few steps, and you will find your Sunday morning to be a much more pleasant experience!

Some Lessons on Marriage from Ronnie and Nancy

     We made a visit recently to the Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley, CA. The library has a marvelous location on the top of a mountain which overlooks a lush, green valley checkered with grape vineyards and beautiful homes. We arrived just days before the centennial celebration of President Reagan's birthday, and the place was bustling with workers making preparations. Some of the museum was off limits because special exhibits would soon be opening.

     We loved our visit and plan on going back again in the next few months. We decided while there to buy a membership to the presidential libraries because we knew we wanted to go back, and we also wanted to go to Richard Nixon's Library in Yorba Linda (which we did last week).  For becoming a member, we received a Ronald Reagan calendar which has pictures and quotes by him. One of the quotes from "Ronnie" to his beloved wife, Nancy, was, "I more than love you; I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to me when you are gone. I'm waiting for you to return so I can start living again." It was addressed to "Dear First Lady" and signed "Your grateful husband." I know....awwwwwww!!!!  If you have never read the book I Love You, Ronnie, I highly recommend that you do!  When it first came out, my husband recommended it to his history classes at Hyles-Anderson College, and many of the young ladies went crazy over it. Ronnie and Nancy were just such an adorable couple who just absolutely adored one another. Their devotion to each other was inspiring. My husband always joked with the men saying that they should not let their wives read the book but should copy the letters and send them to their wives! Obviously he was just joking--kind of! lol

     Nancy always called her husband Ronnie, and he called sometimes he called her Nancy Poo Pants--I'm kind of surprised she let him call her that, but it really is funny and cute. I like it when couples have nicknames for each other. My family always called my brother Tim, but sister-in-law has always called him Timothy. My husband has a nickname for me--but  I can't tell you what it is! lol
  
     Nancy was known to be fiercely defensive of her man. I like that! She had the highest praise for her man, and no one would dare say anything negative of Ronnie in her presence. She was his greatest supporter. I believe she supported her man all the way to the White House. What kind of leader do you want your husband to be? Will you support him in his dreams and aspirations. Will you help him see what his potential is?  I think so many men have such great potential for leadership, and all they need is a women to urge him to fulfill his leadership ability just like Nancy did for Ronnie.

     Another thing I liked about  Nancy Reagan was that she let her man know that he was the ONLY one for her!  She thought he was the smartest, best looking man she had ever known, and she let him know it. She didn't worry about him getting a big head. She had no problem in "feeding his ego," and he had no problem in making sure she shared in every triumph he achieved!

     There is so much to learn about marriage, and I think I can take some pointers from the marriage of Ronnie and Nancy.  They had an epic love story--and I want one too! Maybe I'll dig that book out of storage and reread it this week.

A Monkey? No, a Love Story-Part ll

     If you haven't read "A Monkey? No, a Love Story" then this post might not mean much to you, but if you have read it, I think this will be an extra special blessing as it has been to us today.  This morning we received the news that Gladys husband, Frank, joined her in Heaven! Last Friday Daryl and I went to see Frank and Gladys at their home. Gladys was obviously close to entering the joys of Heaven. We enjoyed Frank's company and had a wonderful time as he shared his life with us and showed us around his house. He seemed so spry and full of life. Gladys went home to be with the Lord on Saturday evening. Frank was in church on Sunday morning. Since losing Gladys, Frank's health rapidly declined, and he cried out for his lost companion whenever he awakened--he really didn't want to live without her. Frank and Gladys are now enjoying perfect health in their new bodies in Heaven. God's timing is always perfect! Tomorrow my husband will perform his first funeral since becoming pastor of First Baptist Church of Twentynine Palms--a double funeral--for a sweet, loving couple who were constant companions in life and now enjoying Heaven for eternity!

A Monkey? No, a Love Story!

     When my husband and I walked in the front door this afternoon and the boys saw me carrying this little monkey, one of the boys said, "WHAT is that?"  While another one said, "Where did you get THAT?"
     "I have a little story to tell you about this monkey," I replied, and here is the story:  Frank and Alice Rodriguez are a couple from our church that have been long-time members. Frank is 93, and Alice is 96. My husband got word yesterday that Alice was gravely ill and almost went home to be with the Lord. Alice made it through another night, and we went to see them in their home today. When we arrived, the hospice care worker greeted us at the door and showed us into the room in which both Frank and Alice were resting in their hospital beds. Frank immediately sat up on the edge of his bed and within moments removed the oxygen tube from his nose. Alice was lying in her bed unaware of our presence. I prayed with Alice for a few moments, and then joined the conversation that Frank and Daryl were having. Frank had been able to be in church this past Sunday, and he was expressing with much animation how much he had enjoyed the sermon which was on the Bible. It wasn't long before Frank's attention turned to Alice, and he stated, "We almost lost her yesterday." Trying find the right words in those moments can be very difficult, but Frank made it easy on us by continuing to talk.  "I had these flowers sent to her." He pointed up at a beautiful bouquet of red carnations on a shelf. "Our anniversary is on December 4th," he informed us.
     "That's tomorrow," my husband said.
     "Right. It will be 56 years."  Franks eyes filled with tears and his voice began to quiver as he said, "The first day I met her, I told her I loved her, and I love her just as much today as I did then."  He went on to extol the virtues of his kind and gentle wife whom he has loved for so many years now. Daryl and I held each others hands tightly while listening to Frank. Our conversation moved on, and soon we were ready to leave.
 As we stood, Frank stood also, "I need to walk around," he said. When we got to the door, he wanted to show us the the patio and yard he had worked on many years ago.  Frank had been in construction, so using his knowledge and capabilities, he had done several things through the years to his home to beautify it and make it comfortable for Alice and him. Once again we were ready to leave. As we made our way to the door again, Frank wanted to show us one more thing--the bedroom that he and Alice had shared for so many years. The room was tastefully decorated, and Frank proudly told us how he had wallpapered and fixed the bathroom just to their liking. We started out the bedroom door when Frank motioned to me. "I have something to give you." He reached over to a stackable plastic drawer and reached for something. He turned and handed me the little, stuffed monkey. Looking at the little guy, I began to laugh and thank him. Then Frank said, "It's from the Coconut Grove. I gave it Alice on our first date, and now I'm giving it to you to take care of."
     As I finished telling my boys the story, they all realized just like I did, that the little monkey I brought home was not just a funny looking, little, stuffed animal but the symbol of a life of love between two people.