When I was growing up, I remember watching my mom beat meat with a big, old wooden mallet trying to tenderized it. I feel like my heart has been going through that same tenderizing process this month! I was doing really well, until the day of Jessica's 18th birthday, and I woke up that morning and had a good cry in the shower reviewing the precious moments that have made up her life and realizing that she would not be spending her birthday at home with us next year (I'm crying now as I type this--doggone it!). That morning God tenderized my heart--bam, BAM, bam. With Jessica's high school years being finished, the reality that we only have a few months left with her and James (he is finishing his college degree at West Coast Baptist College) living under the same roof with us is really hitting home--bam, BAM, bam! My mom left yesterday after spending 8 amazing days with us. The time flew by so unreasonably!! I LOVED every moment I was able to spend with the best mom God ever created, and now I miss her terribly (even though I will get to see her for a few hours while she and my step dad have a lay over at the airport in Ontario, CA). So once again--bam, BAM, bam. I woke up this morning (at 2:30 a.m.) with the tune to this song going through my head:
Sometimes I feel discouraged and think my work’s in vain,
But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again.
There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul.
But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again.
There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul.
As I laid still in my bed in the early hours of the morning, God applied some of his healing balm to my heart as I recalled scripture and meditated on His words and on hymns. I sure hope he has a big old jar of the balm of Gilead up there at the heavenly Rite Aid! I have a feeling I'm going to need a whole lot more applications on this tender heart of mine.
Our home is going through some changes as well. I find it bitter sweet. Thanks for this blog. It helps to be reminded of how big our God is and that He cares for lil ole us. Helen
ReplyDeleteWe are in those graduation days too! My oldest just finished high school and walked across the stage to get his diploma.
ReplyDeleteWhat a myriad of emotions come with this season!
Praying that you will enjoy your 18 year old each day that you have together.
Blessings, Melanie